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‘It’s about Emma,’ she started. I raised my eyes to the ceiling and threw myself into the armchair dramatically. ‘Oh, bloody hell, what has the little sod done now!’ I snapped angrily. ‘Calm down,’ Mum said, then, ‘I received the quarterly telephone bill yesterday, it was three hundred pounds, less a few pence. Emma has been sitting on the phone all day talking to her friends whilst we were out at work.’ I jumped up from the chair, ‘I’ll bloody kill her!’ I was really angry, we had only just started to get ourselves straight and then this happens. Three hundred pounds, that was more than I brought home in wages over three weeks. ‘Where is she? Upstairs?’ I stormed, ‘I’ll shake her so bloody hard she’ll never use a telephone again!’ I made for the door to the hall. ‘No, wait!’ Mum, got up and grabbed my arm, ‘I have already given her a good scolding and I may have a solution, but I need your help to make it work.’ She pulled me down so that we were on the settee side by side, sat. I hope you’re a good one, because this little shit storm I got her into is gonna get kinda ugly.”By now I’m totally confused. “Aunt Margie, what the heck is going on with you? Why are you acting like this?”“Oh, honey,” she says with a chuckle, “I’m afraid you’ve made a mistake. I’m not your Aunt Margie. I’m Dagmar.”Okay, this was totally out of left field. It had to be some kind of reaction to all the stress she was under, a temporary brain fart or something!I grabbed her shoulders and pleaded, “Aunt Margie, get ahold of yourself! You’re acting all weird on me!”She shrugged my hands off and said, “Hey, easy with the paws, buster! You’re gonna have to pay big money to treat me like that.” Then, tossing in yet another jolt and adding to my dismay, she ran her hand up my leg and started rubbing my crotch!She kind of snickered, “But if you wanna play, I think we can work something out. Margie has some very wicked thoughts about you, you know. Do you have wicked thoughts about her?”I.
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